Im writing this in the back seat of my sisters car, we’re on our way home from our fathers funeral.

I sent this drawing of Lilly to my dad when he was in the hospital but i dont think he ever woke up to see it. I actually had a comic in my head i wanted to send him but i figured he needed a smile sooner than i could draw my comic.

I have had zero chances to simply process my emotions. Because of this ive become the biggest/saddest/loudest/messiest cryer. I think my sister comes in second place.

Even during times when I wasnt like that I felt hundreds of eyes on me, kind sympothetic eyes, their words were more a variety of sounds.

I need to regroup myself. I havent been able to and I dont know when i will simply be allowed to.

Its not ALL bad, and i will be okay, i dont want to just complain and be a weird sad emotional mess of a person.

What I want to do is hike to my shelter house in my favorite park, build a fire in the fireplace, and watch the trees and squirrels and the flames, and feel warm. I want to feel peacfull and maybe write if im compelled to. I havent been able to do anything like that.

I guess Im feeling the “call of the wild”

I have a lot of things to share, good things, but for now this is enough. I cant wait to get home.

-aaron